gratitude

My kid isn't out as trans to everyone at school. He has told some close friends, but after having been burned by one in particular, he has become a bit gun-shy. I tell him not to worry, that if they're his TRUE friends, it won't matter, and if someone doesn't accept him, that's their loss.

It is so much easier to give that advice than to take it myself. As the time came to make the Big Announcement, I found myself being more nervous than I expected. I just kept repeating the mantra, "If you don't accept my son, it's not that I won't CARE, it's just that it doesn't MATTER. We will move forward with or without you on our side."  So I took a deep breath and I sent the email out. I've read plenty of bad coming out stories over the past several months, but I was cautiously optimistic about how our news would be received.

You'll Never Believe What Happened Next. 

Waves of love and support, coming in one after another, so fast I could scarcely keep up with them. I treasure each and every one of your emails, texts and messages. A friend has a theory: the reason I had such an overwhelmingly positive response is because I am really good at picking quality people as friends. Go us! If only the rest of the world was populated with people as bitchin' as you guys.

So I gather your words of love and acceptance and fashion a shield to protect my family from the ignorant and misinformed. I weave them together to make a blanket to comfort us on bad days. I needlepoint them onto throw pillows until there are too many to fit on my bed. I carve your words into stones I will carry in my pockets, so if I encounter someone nasty, I can rub them until they are smooth again.

My favorite response came from my dad, who called me as soon as he finished reading my email. He said, "You should know you wouldn't have to ASK me to be on your team." He followed that up with this comment about anyone who wasn't supportive, "They can either get on board this train or be left at the station."

My second favorite response came from my grandma. My old-fashioned, God-loving, 89-year-old grandma, who I thought was gonna be one of the toughest nuts to crack. Two days after I told her, we got this card in the mail, addressed to E's affirmed name.

 

 

And when I called her to say thanks, she replied, "Well of course honey. Be sure to tell E I said: Welcome to the Family!"

 

So thanks dad. And thanks grandma. And thank you, yes YOU, who wrote and called and texted. Your support gives me the strength to go out into the wider world and share our story. But most of all, thanks to my kid, who is teaching me more than I ever imagined possible about being true to myself.