(in)visible

upon a time, there was a teenager who didn't feel like he fit in anywhere. He always felt a little different from his peers, but couldn't put his finger on what exactly it was. When he reached a certain age, his body started changing, like all human bodies do when they go through puberty.  Unfortunately for this kid, it made all his feelings of being an outsider worse, because now he didn't even seem to fit in with his own body. He remembered something he learned about in his sex education class at church the previous year and began to wonder if he might be transgender.

One day, he and his family visited a book shop. There he found a book called Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out. After he read this book, he felt even more strongly that he himself might be a trans teen.

After a few months of deep introspection and talking with close friends, he shared his news with his family. He saw many doctors who reassured him that he was not alone and he began the process of transitioning so that the rest of the world would see him as he saw himself: a (sensitive silly sweet sarcastic) dude.  (For the purpose of this tale, we will assign him a random initial, such as E.)

He told his classmates and teachers and (most) everyone got it, even though the principal said no one at that school had ever gone through what this kid was going through (as far as they knew). Then it was summer. And he was excited to go away to a conference that he had been attending for the last several years. He texted all his friends that also traveled from around the country to this gathering and they were excited to meet him again, and for the first time.

But when E's mom tried to book the reservation for the conference, there was confusion. Like his school principal, the organizers had also never known of any past participants to go through such a transition, and they were unsure how to proceed. Luckily E's mom knows a guy who was able to educate the conference people about how to deal with these things they'd never dealt with before.

E attended the conference and even though it went a bit differently than expected, he still had a great time and even made some new friends.

It wasn't until a few months later that he and his family heard a story. About another young person who attended the conference. Who decided halfway through the week that they wanted to change their name, in a similar fashion to how E did. So this person approached the registration desk and asked for a new name tag. Luckily, since this wasn't the first time the conference had such a request, they knew how to deal with it (read: issued a new name tag without fuss).

The end.

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E doesn't want to be a poster child for trans teens. He doesn't want to be the token trans friend. He doesn't want to be called "brave" or "strong" or "inspiring". He just wants to live his life in a way that he hasn't always been able to: as himself.

And maybe someone notices. And maybe that someone is feeling lost too. And maybe after seeing E being himself, they realize they can do that too. And they don't need to wait to (maybe) hear about it in sex ed or stumble upon the concept in a book shop.

E isn't trying to change the world, he's just trying to survive. But sometimes just being yourself is a radical act.

+  +  + 

I finally found my real name
I won’t be me when you see me again
. . .
I’m more than you know
I’m more than you see here
I’m more than you let me be
I’m more than you know
A body in a soul
You don’t see me but you will
I am not invisible
I am here